FNP__”W” ADVISES FRIENDS: CHAD IS GOING CABINET
Faux News Press (FNP)__WASHINGTON, DC.__According to sources closely associated with President George W. Bush, the organization of the American Likud Party (”ALP”) has advanced smoothly in all the states. The organizations which have been set up in New York, Illinois, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Mexafornia, Florexico, and Mexas are particularly strong. All the other states will be “ready for victory in November,” claims this source on the condition of anonymity.
By the end of July the president believes that these states will lean toward the American Likud Party, rather than the traditional Democrat and Republican parties. The president tells insiders that he plans to resign from office on August 1, 2008, and plans to accept the ALP’s nomination for President of the United States of Pan America at the first national convention, which will be held in Miami. Mr. Richard Cheney will assume the Office of President upon the day of Mr. Bush’s resignation.
FNP was curious what the new cabinet of George W. Bush might look like, if he were able to win in November. Our man on the scene was able to acquire only one name that will appear with certainty in the new Bush Administration. That name belongs to Chad Clint Calhoun, who has been the youthful Bush family spokeman for Mexas Affairs. He has an office in Crawford and in Austin. From these offices he issues official Bush family statements on mostly local issues. It was Mr. Crawford, for instance, who announced before a small gathering of Journalist that the Bush family compound near Crawford was in the process of being surrounded by a missile defense shield. “In these dangerous times,” he had said, “the president must utilize all of the most modern techniques to secure his safety.”
How will Mr. Calhoun fit in at the American Likud cabinet? The president-elect, George W. Bush, will create a new cabinet-level office: The Department of Steaks. Mr. Calhoun will be the first Secretary of Steaks. It will have regulatory control over all herds and the grain purveyors which feed them, as well as the fields on which that grain is grown, as well as all other fields, whether local or foreign, as well as the companies which provide the fertilizer. It will also have regulatory power over the end-users of these foods, including individuals and families.
All rights reserved. Nomoonnight, 2008.
