FNP: D.C. PREPARES FOR “MARCH OF THE MOGULS”

Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington, D.C.:  FNP has learned from sources close to Mayor Adrian Fenty that a “March of the Moguls” is scheduled to begin on the first day of Hannukah in December, 2008. Dubbed by Fenty insiders as the “Millionaire Man March,” the march is organized to show support for the mysterious Brazilian mogul of Georgetown and for his local partners and champions, the Lerner family, the Haft family and Donald Graham of The Washington Post Company. The Lerner family is connected to the Brazilian through White Flint Mall in Bethesda, MD, which is a suburban jurisdiction adjacent to Washington, D.C. Mr. Donald Graham is said to be connected in other ways.

At the request of Abe Pollin, the Charles E. Smith family, the Lerner family and Mr. Donald Graham, officials at the mayor’s office have kept the march under wraps. FNP’s scoop is the first in the nation. The march is scheduled to begin at the Federal Reserve building on Constitution Avenue, NW, proceed to 15th Street, NW, where the march will turn north. The marchers will then proceed past the U.S. Department of the Treasury and continue to the Washington Post building at 15th & L Sts., where Emil, Donald Graham’s companion, will present a bouquet of two dozen roses to March leader Mark Lerner, and then the marchers will turn right onto L Street, NW, as a Washington Post reporters’ chorus sings “Hava Nagila,” amid shouts of “Mazel Tov!” The marchers will then turn down Massachusetts Avenue, NW, and march to North Capitol Street, turn right onto it, march to Constitution Avenue and turn right, march to 4th Street NW, turn left on 4th Street, march to the Mall, and there they will gather on the Mall on either side of 4th Street, NW. At the point where the last mogul arrives, Ronald Haft will give a signal, and the entire corps of moguls will sing to Senators and Representatives gathered on the West Face of the U.S. Capitol, “God Gave This Land To Us.”

According to close observers of the Haft family who wish to remain anonymous, Ronald Haft and Representative Barney Frank will together present the “Allan Schneider Golden Done-Deed-It Award,” the first of an annual award presentation ceremony for outstanding real estate moguls. Ms. Salete Pond is scheduled to accept the award in behalf of her mysterious boss.

Ms. Pond is herself a minor real estate figure, who has worked closely with Mr. Ronald Haft. Her skill at expropriating rental deposits has not gone unnoticed by the shrewd Mr. Haft. FNP believes that she may well be Mr. Haft’s connection to the “great Brazilian landgrab,” which seems to be gaining force daily. Whether there is an occult connection between them and the global occult movement cannot be stated with certainty. One description of Brazil is “Too dark to be green; too red to be right.” It sounds like a real estate mogul’s paradise, but is the darkness truly dark?

FNP has been able to obtain from sources high in the Fenty Administration a list of many of the moguls scheduled to appear for the “March of the Moguls.” Our sources have also confirmed that Mayor Adrian Fenty has obtained promises from the moguls to–as this source put it–”build, build, build in D.C.” The Fenty Administration believes that several hundred million dollars in new taxes will be reaped in only five years, and that this “March of the Moguls” will be remembered as the “crown Jewel” of his administration.

Some of the moguls, who are on the list to march, are: A. Alfred Taubman (Detroit), Melvin Simon (Indianapolis), Stephen Muss (Miami), Monte and Alfe Goldman (Oklahoma City), Walter Shorenstein (San Francisco), Philip and Max Stollman (Detroit), Samuel Lefrak (New York), Robert Swig (Fairmont hotels),Scott Seligman (Michigan), Martin Selig (Seattle), Jack Bernaroya (Seattle), William Levitt (Long Island), Arthur Cohen (Arlen Realty), the Uris family (N.Y.), the Durst family (N.Y.), the Rudin family (N.Y.), the Horowitz family (N.Y.), the Ravitch family (N.Y.), the Minskoff family (N.Y.), the Milstein family (N.Y.), Sol Goldman (N.Y.), Frederic Rose (N.Y.), Aaron Gural, Leo and Alexander Bing, the Resnicks, the Fishers, the Koeppels, the Wiens, the Cohens, Larry Silverstein (N.Y.), Evan Frankel (East Hampton, L.I.), Ben Tobin (N.Y.), Jack Weiler (N.Y.), Frederic and Earle Mack (N.Y., N.J.), Aaron Ziegelman (N.Y.), Jerry Speyer (N.Y,), Bernard Mendik (N.Y.), Steven J. Green (Astrum International Corp.), the Alfred M. Greenfield family (Philadelphia, PA), the Hellman family (California), Sam Zell (Chicago, IL), Neil Bluhm (Chicago, IL), Guilford Glazer (Beverly Hills, CA), Eli Broad (LA, CA), Philip Klutznik (Chicago, IL), Jerry Moore (Houston, TX), David Mincberg (Houston, TX), Laurence Hirsch, (Dallas, TX), Mark Goldweitz (Boston, Mass.), Jerome Rappaport (Boston, Mass.), the Philp and Willam Krupp brothers (Boston, Mass.), Stephen Karp (Boston, Mass.), Julien Cohen (Boston, Mass,), Bruce Beal (Boston, Mass.), Steve Fishman (Boston, Mass.), Ron Drucker (Boston, Mass.), Dick Friedman (Boston, Mass.), Alan Leventhal (Boston, Mass.), Edwin Sidman (Boston, Mass.), Simon Konover (N.E.), Richard Penzer (Pittsburgh, PA), Wiliam Adler (Chicago, IL), Jona Goldrich (LA, CA), Abraham Lurie (LA, CA), Craig and Scott Robins (Miami, FL), John Price (Utah), Jordan Perlmutter (Denver, CO), Shaul Baruch (Denver, CO), Phil and Harley Schrager (Omaha, Nebraska), the Shapiro family (Florida), Mort Friedman (Sacramento, CA), Sheldon Solow (N.Y.), David Steiner, (N.Y.), the Charles E. Smith family (Washington, D.C.), the Haft family (Washington, D.C.), Mort Zuckerman (Washington, D.C.), Albert Abramson (Washington, D.C.), Ted Lerner (Washington, D.C.), Bernard and Carol Gewitz (Washington, D.C.), Robert Rosenthal (Washington, D.C.), Estelle Gelman (Washington, D.C.), Herman Greenberg (Washington, D.C.), Abe Pollin (Washington, D.C.), Myer and Adrienne Arsht Feldman (Washington, D.C.), Joel Meisel (Washington, D.C.), Barry Cohen, (Washington, D.C.), the Abraham Kay family (Washington, D.C.), the Morris Cafritz family (Washington, D.C.), Joe Cherner family (Washington, D.C.), the Nehemiah Cohen family (Washington, D.C.), the Hyman Goldberg family (Washington, D.C.), the Isadore Turover family (Washington, D.C.), and many lesser moguls.

The list above is a partial list and the representative may be a family member or proxy, as some moguls have passed or are in ill health. However, their empires, mostly comprised of real estate and development companies, still are vast, and they will manage most “storms.” Further, since many of these Jewish moguls have very close relationships with the Jewish state in the Levant and have provided financial assistance, investment money, donations and otherwise supported Israeli needs, they will probably receive representatives from the Israeli real estate and development community to march with them in solidarity. Representatives of the Israeli Embassy may also join the march as “Friends of the Moguls.” Many of these moguls have held high positions in various prominent Jewish organizations, such as the ADL of B’nai B’rith, AIPAC, and the American Jewish Committee. With these connections it is certain that there will be a 100% response from senators and representatives to greet the moguls at the West Face of the U.S. Capitol building.

However, according to usually reliable Georgetown sources, at the specific request of the mysterious Brazilian Mogul, utilizing the good offices of Mr. Donald Graham,  Ted and Mark Lerner, Ronald Haft, and Abe Pollin agreed to make this march open to all the Jewish moguls in the World Community. Ms. Salete Pond, personal secretary/procurer/valet to the “gay” Brazilian mogul, personally passed the sealed request to Donald Graham, as he dined at the new Georgetown “hotspot,” The Bosslady.

Moguls from the international real estate and development community are therefore included on the list, which was provided to FNP by friendly sources close to the mayor. These moguls are: Frank Lewy (Australia), the Reichmann family (Canada), the Belzberg family (Canada), the Bronfman family (Canada), the Maxwell Cummings family (Canada), the Stephen Mernick family (Canada), the Peter Munk family (Canada), the Jacob Ghermezian family (Canada), the Ignatz Bubis family (Berlin, Germany), Moritz Gertler (Germany), the Fiszman family (Germany), Emil Januscek (Germany), the Feuchtwanger (Germany), the Rosenthal family (Germany), the Ariel Muzicant family (Vienna, Austria), Michael and Peter Freeman (UK), the Michael Price family (UK), the Sighismund Berger family (UK), the Godfrey Bradman family (UK), the Gerald Ronson family (UK), the Mark Pears family (UK), the brothers Eddie and Sol Zaky and family (UK), and lesser moguls. A few in this international list are not strictly speaking real estate moguls, per se, as the bulk of their wealth may have come from banking or textiles. This is the case in two instances of the German-based Jewish moguls.

Besides the large number of extraordinarily rich and politically connected moguls indicated in the above list, is the deep connection they so often have with the Jewish State in the Levant. Many Israeli have moved to Europe and become moguls, or they moved to the UK, or they moved to Canada or to America. The international collegium of Jewish moguls leads to much “deal-making” between people who see “eye-to-eye” (always a challenge).

For this reason FNP became curious to know if the “March of the Moguls” might be a march of solidarity on the one hand and a scheme to buy up Brazil on the other. When FNP inquired of Gurli Gur, famed Israeli media star, what might be planned “behind closed doors”,  when the gathered moguls were hosted at a private, closed-off Washington Convention Center by Abe Pollin, Ted and Mark Lerner, and Donald Graham, he smiled enigmatically.

The answer provided by Gurli Gur was simply a news release he had in his possession. He did not offer to interpret its meaning. Here is the terse release:

BRAZILIAN LAND RUSH

Brazilian Beachfront Property – Recession Proof & Earning 20% a year

Brazilian Land Rush                                                                                                         48  villas Costalita                                                                                                 Costalita Estepona                                                                                                    Malaga, Spain 29660

When FNP urged Mr. Gur to comment, he laughed and said: “Caveat emptor!”

All rights reserved. Nomoonnight, 2008.