FNP: HELL’S ANGELS VS GUARDIAN ANGELS
Binyamin Netanyahu accuses Mr. T & Curtis Sliwa of plot against Ariel Sharon.
Faux News Press (FNP)_Washington DC: The papal visit to the Holy Land has captured the attention of the world. News media have offered vivid images of Pope Benedict in the jejune land, which the Most High abandoned 2000 years ago to the furtive feet of its natural vermin. Pundits have offered the usual wisdom, which is generally that the “peace-process” has been enhanced by his pious tread in the Jewish state, as well as in Palestine.
According to “Mouse” Mosley, a sometime op-ed contributor to The Washington Post, this propituous confluence of the three greatest religions of the world is, indeed, mystically profound. He sees them forming a cubic triangle, or what he refers to as “a sacred pyramid.” If you add the two “cherub” religions of Hinduism and Buddhism, then, according to “Mouse,” you have the mystically emanated “triangle and two.” This is the winning plan for world union under a diverse sanhedrin of authoritative love. “What’s not to like?” he asked.
However, FNP has learned that underneath the flash of camera lights and the show of cordiality, there is great tension in the Jewish state. In particular, according to usually reliable informants within the Pentagon, the border between the aggressive Israeli State and the desperately besieged Palestinian State is one of the most volatile, violent places on Earth. According to one source at the Pentagon, who spoke only under the condition of anonymity, only the Guardian Angels stand between uneasy peace and the genocide of the Palestinians. Curtis Sliwa’s Men of Peace – the Guardian Angels – are a thin red line of heroes, according to several Pentagon insiders, who spoke “off the record.”
The more violent elements of the Israeli leadership are well aware of the Guardian Angels, having witnessed the Israel Defense Forces repeatedly repelled by the stalwart lads. The Israelis have accused Curtis Sliwa of “anti-Semitism” and have referred to the Guardian Angels as “Neo-Nazis.” Israeli lobbyists in America are pressuring Congress to recall the “Angels.”
The new Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, has expressed great hatred for Mr. T and Curtis Sliwa, who he believed were in a partnership to “off” Ariel Sharon, while using the guise of protecting the comatose general. He tells intimates of an undercover operation he perpetrated to observe Mr. T at the hospital. He dressed as a nurse, he tells cronies. He claims to have seen Mr. T and Curtis Sliwa privately plotting, and when they spied him observing them, they chased him out of the hospital. He refers to them even today as professional “hit men.” He has likened the Guardian Angels to Murder Incorporated.
Therefore, the announcement by Sonny Barger in California that he was leading a regiment of Hell’s Angels to the Jewish State to offer “front line” support to the beleaguered IDF caused many to suspect Mr. Netanyahu’s “dark hand.” Sonny Barger stated unequivacably that the “Angels will kick the Angels out of the Holy Land.”
When renowned media star, Gurli Gur, was asked if there was any truth to these announcements, he flatly proclaimed: ” The forces of Armageddon are gathering. It’s Hell vs Heaven. I’ll be there covering it for Combined Global News. I’m going to interview both hosts of angels. The devil may care - I don’t.”
In a separate surprise announcement, El Lojob, head of the Mongols motorcycle gang of California, has offered two battalions of Mongols to Sonny Barger. If this is true, then Mr. T may need to gather his own colorful cast of adventurers to provide extra back-up support for the Guardian Angels. He most likely will contact the group known throughout the world as “The Magnicent KungFuYus.” As the mighty men gather for the final showdown, FNP will be there, reporting live from the battling borderlands. Be there with us!
Hell's Angels confer.
Curtis & elite Guardian Angel members
