FNP: MADOFF’S “SAFE HOUSE”
Faux News Press (FNP)__Washington, D.C.: According to usually reliable sources at the Department of the Treasury, there is good reason to suppose that approximately 20 billion dollars, which were once controlled by Bernard Madoff, are secure in an Israeli bank. The bank in question is relatively unknown outside the Jewish community and international central banks. It is The Bank of the Law. It is controlled by Edgar Bronfman. According to the Treasury source, Bernard Madoff had a big account there.
According to Tel Aviv bank spokesperson, Hershal “Shifty” Shiffkowitz, The Bank of the Law is a private bank operating under the Israeli governments corporate principle of “One for all and all for one.” It was founded by “Canadian” Edgar Bronfman to primarily serve the Jews of the Diaspora. According to Mr. Shiffkowitz, the bank has over seven thousand customers scattered across the globe. Further, Mr. Shiffkowitz noted that the bank’s customers tended to be very wealthy individuals or partnerships. He proudly noted that Goldman Sachs of the United States was a bank customer.
When FNP inquired if Bernard Madoff was a customer of the bank, Mr. Shiffkowitz was silent for a moment. Then he replied that an urgent matter had arisen – he would get back to FNP at the first opportunity. To date he has not contacted FNP.
Nevertheless, FNP was now curious about this bank and Bernard Madoff. We sought the assistance of Israeli media star, Gurli Gur. He agreed to quietly investigate The Bank of the Law.
About ten days after we contacted Mr. Gur, as agreed, he met FNP’s Drat Johnson in Beirut, Lebanon. Over dinner he outlined what he had discovered.
According to Gurli Gur, The Bank of the Law operated under the single but important Jewish principle: The Law of the Return of Principle and Interest. Mr. Gur stated that this Bronfman creation had from the very beginning operated to protect the money of Jews who were involved in “risky businesses.” It has never sought publicity. No one can just “walk in” and open an account. To establish an account an individual had to have an authenticated, signed Letter of Introduction from Edgar Bronfman. This had been true of Meyer Lansky. It was also true of Bernard Madoff. Furthermore, to open an account, the potential customer had to pay Edgar Bronfman a “finder’s fee.” This fee was generally a set percentage of the annual deposit. Hence, there would be an “up front” deposit to protect the Bronfman interest. At the end of each fiscal year, the percentage would be applied to and funds removed from the account, minus the deposit. These “fees” would be placed in a Bronfman account. After the return of the deposit, The Bank of the Law penalized either massive withdrawal of funds or the closing of the account by a percentage equal to the yearly fee.
FNP inquired if interested parties couldn’t find a better deal elsewhere and why wouldn’t they?
According to our man in Beirut, he was told that The Bank of the Law was unique in the Jewish state. He was informed by Gurli Gur that this bank had been protected by legislation in the Knesset, which legislation protected it absolutely from non-Israeli officials. Neither the U.S. Internal Revenue Service nor any other outside political body could have ANY access whatsoever to The Bank of the Law. The law that protects it was sponsored by a small religious party, Beth Vigorish, headed by the High Rabbi of Jerusalem himself. The legislation also protected it from all Israeli governmental intrusions, manipulations and/or oversight. However, the bank does provide government banking officials with an annual “gross report.” According to Gurli Gur, this is one of the most secretive, powerfully connected financial establishments in the world.
Although the world of “high finance” is privileged and forbidding to outsiders, none may be as formidable as The Bank of the Law. If Bernard Madoff “stashed” a large amount of client money there, FNP cannot be encouraging to its clients. The chances of recovering money from it, whether lawful or otherwise, are remote. If Gurli Gur’s information is correct, no lawsuit will be afforded “standing” in the Jewish state. Hence, there appears to be no recourse at law. It is a perfect “safe house.”
